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A Short Story Written by:
Hicham Sbaa
Hicham Sbaa
For the past few years, I got to know many girls but I haven't felt a thing for them, which made me feel dreadfully lonely, and oddly enough I only felt lonely in the crowd.
I started believing that I'll never live to see another love, why can't I fall in love and be happy just like every other guy out there? Why falling in love is so hard for me? Why do I push girls away? is it because I only see their faults? Is it because I'm afraid of getting hurt again? Or am I just scared of getting to know somebody and actually falling for her? Falling in love was so hard for me, but not anymore, at least not for yesterday, when a goddess walked straight to my house, to my room, to my bed, to my heart.
A day, Twenty-four hours, that's all it took for me to taste love again, I know that seems fast, but not if you got to spend those whole hours with her.. I know it still seems fast, but I don't care, I was able to feel something I haven't felt for a very long time, I almost forgot how sweet it is , I almost forgot how great it feels knowing that someone actually care about you in this world . I was in love again, and even though it was for one day, it was enough for me and for that I'm thankful.
Let me tell you how it started. I was watching a movie when the phone rang, at the other end of the line there was my mother's best friend, whom I didn't see for twelve years, I still recall her stopping by and visiting us back when I was a kid, now she lives far away and haven't seen my mother for a very long time, she said she was in the city and she wanted to come to visit, and of course she was going to stay the night over. after some time they arrived , and by "they" I mean my mom's best friend and her cute sixteen years old daughter, and let me tell you about that girl , she has a face of an angel, pretty big innocent eyes, rosy heart shaped lips, dark silky hair , and she have this irresistible look, you just can't help but to stare. We got a long from the start, she was funny, sweet, beautiful, charming, and she likes me. What else could I possibly want?
The first hours went slow, my mother was catching up with her friend and making the best of the time they have. Dinner was served after a while, and we started eating very slowly and politely, I guess you know how it is when a guest is in the house, everybody is trying to make the best impression. I hate that kind of things, when everything is going slow, and trying to act interested on what the other is saying, and that uncomfortable silence when there isn't much left to say. The whole thing is just awkward for me, so, I finished my dinner and headed to my room.
After a while, it was time to sleep, and everybody went to bed, except for me and her and my younger sister, after some time they came knocking on my door, asking if they could join me in my room, and of course I said "Yes". The night started innocently enough, we just sat and relaxed for a while, then played cards for a while, and we just end up talking about many things and getting to know each other better, then it become a little wild, she started hitting me with pillows and I hit her back then we started splashing each others with water, she was laughing and giggling, I can swear we woke everybody up at that moment, I looked at her , her hair was messed up and wet from all that hitting and splashing, and still she looked amazingly beautiful.
When we got tired , she said that she wanted to see a movie, to my delight I have more than fifty films on my hard drive, I played the movie, it was a scary one by the way, and then the three of us sat on my bed trying to enjoy the movie. after a while the girl put her legs on my lap, I said to myself "ok", then she started playing with my hair, that was "ok" too. I didn't want to do anything yet; I couldn't risk doing something stupid, I mean my sister was lying next to us half sleep, and I wasn't sure about the girl intention.
We sat silently for a while, neither wanting to break the tranquility of the night, after some time I couldn't resist the temptation anymore , she made it clear that she wanted me, and who am I to say "no", I put my hand on her hand, and then she bent down close to my head and she kissed me. I haven't felt that satisfied and happy in a long time, and just from a kiss. She looked at me admiringly, and then we kissed again. I looked at my sister and she was already in deep sleep. The movie was running but no one watched, I guess the three of us had our own reasons for not watching.
I somehow felt guilty and I don't know why, maybe because she was so young, or maybe because of my religious beliefs, I don't know. But whenever she kissed me I forgot all about that. Suddenly, I heard my father waking up and going to the bathroom, and we were still kissing, the fear of getting caught by my sister or my father or even her mother was exciting, there was so much nervousness in the air but so were love, lust, and desire.
The movie ended, I'm not even sure when it did, she and my sister went to their room to sleep, it was already late so I went to bed too. When the morning came, the first thing I got was my good morning kiss, then we had breakfast, unfortunately I had classes that day, so, I changed my clothes and went out. When I came back she was out with my sister, I was waiting impatiently for her to come home, unfortunately her mother told me that they were traveling back home after lunch. I felt sad knowing that I only have an hour or two with her.
Finally, she came back with my sister, and then they had their lunch. I was looking for the chance so I can be alone with her, I wanted to tell her so many things, but she was busy with her mother packing up and was around people most of the time, when it was time to say goodbye, she came to my room, I looked at her and I didn't know what to say, I didn't even know how to start , we just looked at each other for a while, I put my arm around her and all I said was :"I'll Miss You" she smiled at me with her big beautiful eyes, and said goodbye, though the good was gone from the word goodbye. I was sure I'm not letting her go without one final kiss. So, I came close to her and bent down so her lips will meet mine, and we kissed, it was a sweet tender kiss, a goodbye kiss, and if you happen to know, there is nothing harder than a goodbye kiss.
We didn't exchange emails or phone numbers or anything. I didn't want to hold on to her while I know there is no possibility for our love to grow, People always exchange phone numbers, E-mails, they end up writing or calling each other once or twice, and I don't want that.
I walked her to the car, everybody was saying goodbye to each other, but I was only looking at her saying more than just a goodbye with my eyes, and as the car drove away, I felt sorry for myself. I was left to drown in my own sorrow and despair. Of all the lovers out there, I should have seen that coming, I should have anticipated the ending, but would it have made a difference if I did? I greatly doubt that.
Sometimes I think to myself: "Would it be easy if nothing had happened between us at all?", at least I wouldn't be thinking about her, I wouldn't be wondering about what she is doing at this moment. I don't know what happened to me, something about that girl that made me easily attached to her. I shouldn't have put myself in that position, I knew she was going away, and I knew that I probably won't be able to see her again, and that only will break my heart, and it did. I hurt myself terribly before and I did it again. The question that I ask myself is: If I can go back in time, would I change things? Would I save myself from this heartbreaking experience? Strange as it may seem, I definitely won't change a thing.
Since then, I've never heard from her again, and maybe that was for the best. Days went by, and I found myself in a better shape than ever before in my life. To me, she will always be a singular unforgettable event; she will always be the only woman who won my heart in a single day.
: : End : :
Copyright 2008
Copyright 2008
